Leave the gun. Take the cannoli

“TOO MUCH TOO YOUNG?”

I wouldn’t have the balls to sail the english channel alone now, let alone at 13.

It’s the kinda life i’ve always aspired to have
At 24, i still have a long way to go before i come close

So what do i do?

I’m clawing at everything to stay afloat

I’ve had a long day. Or rather, a 2 or 3 months
I’ve been at work and at school today
I’m running a course at the moment, planning for 5, with 1 starting next week.
And not to mention at exhibition that I’m coordinating on my own.

But i can’t sleep.

I sit here in my chair thinking of all the issues that have gnawing at the back of brain
and sitting on top of my chest for a while now.
And of people in general. Nasty people, selfish people, disrespectful people, ungrateful people etc etc.

But lessons teaches us that, for every action that we make or take that brings no value or doesn’t solve any problems, is really a waste of time.

So i’m really jus wastin my time in this chair.

But so what, not everything is logical.

As I watch my friends advance ahead in life,
I wonder where I’m headed

As I listened to my brothers talk about their national service lives tonight
I wonder what I missed out on, not being fit for combat duty
and I swear I’ve been a war junkie all my life

I can sit and I can watch and I can wonder
but if I don’t get off my ass and handle the current situation like a true mature sensible adult
then my journey slows down to a halt
Though I have to admit
I need to stop focusing on just where I want to be
but also how I want to get there

There are so many situations where you can’t jus turn and walk away
when you hit a dead end
Being cheerful and optimistic don’t solve every problem
but I guess it helps when you need to think of your next exit plan
and if you don’t try, you would never know

10 years on, I feel like I’m 14 again
this would sound great, until you know what it was like to be 14 for me -
lost, confused and full of angst.
Yes, it’s scary
But what do you do?
Jessica taught me 2 very important lessons:
1. to suck it up
2. to deal with it
I’m as far as where I am today because I never forgot those painful lessons
and now, more than ever, I need to keep these 2 phrases in mind

nobody said it was easy,
no one ever said it would be so hard

pls bear with my complaining and whining for now
I vow to step out this stronger than ever

I’d like to think this is art everyone can enjoy

I used to believe anyone ’sick’ for more than 4 or 5 days should be hospitalized
that a fever should subside within 2 days
Unless you contracted Malaria or Dengue
which you usually get hospitalized for anyway

I cant remember the last time I had a fever above 38 degrees
and I cant remember not recovering from one after resting for a day.
The ‘last time’ was probably chicken pox when I was 9

But last weekend I had a fever that went up to 39.4 degrees
and seldom went under 38 degrees
That fever lasted almost 5 days
I had sores in my throat so painful I could hardly swallow saliva

I didn’t get bored staying at home till the 5th day
when I finally got better
And I usually don’t last more than 2 days at home.
I was so sick, I had zero interest in doing zero things.

Contracting the hand foot mouth disease has been a sobering ordeal
I’m seldom sick, and hardly seriously ill, but this was a wake-up call
especially since HFMD is usually known to affect kids and not adults.
Or at least, not so seriously when it came to adults
I had most of the symptoms, except diaper rash and sores outside of my mouth.
Otherwise, it was the real deal.

Today is Day 8 since I fell sick
Honestly, I feel liberated.
I cant remember the last time I was so happy to recover from an illness either.

I’m so not ready for H1N1