- Mad World
Gary Jules (cover of Tears for Fears)
its been a while aside from my previous entry about the motorcycle ride I had in the parking lot

somehow each of us have sunk into our own little black hole, and i honestly can’t tell who’s having it worst off or better off

we’re pretty much on the same boat or in the same hole

at least one more of us is leaving SG for a good extended period of time

for the rest of us, what the future holds remain unknown

i’m not the most optimistic guy around

but after being around for the past 2 years, i know what attitude needs to be uphold in order for me to continue catching up with the spinning world

it never stops, so you can’t too

small word of advice, embrace change if you aren’t happy with what you are now

i’ve shrunk in size, moved to Punggol, grown a few more white hairs, finished 2 semesters at school and worked 4 months with the best brother in the world

1 thing i’ve learned from BMX and Jessica, is that when you keep pushing the envelop, you don’t go off the edge, the envelop just gets bigger

so here i m, still surviving

and i’ve now got 3 modules this semester, making it 3 weekday nights in school and catching much less sleep and tv

what doesnt kill you makes you stronger – heard that a million times

i bet you have too

anyways i lost my train of thought cos i left my desk for a bit there

but i remembered that i wanted to wish Liang the best of luck for his practicum – perk up bro, the future is for our taking!

The damp evening air in hair, my crumpler snugly up against the small of my back as it rests on the pillion seat and the little bumps of the Tarmac reverberating through the suspension into my limbs. The feeling of freedom while being in control, and power at the flick of my wrist.

It was a ride that lasted less than 2 minutes, but it must have been the happiest 2 minutes I’ve had in a while. The only worry I had was crashing my friends bike.

Was never a fan of choppers or harleys – still not, but I guess this ride changed my opinion a little.

Nothing gets me going and remind me that I’m still alive like a good ride on a 2-wheeler.

I wouldn’t have the balls to sail the english channel alone now, let alone at 13.

It’s the kinda life i’ve always aspired to have
At 24, i still have a long way to go before i come close

So what do i do?

But i can’t sleep.

I sit here in my chair thinking of all the issues that have gnawing at the back of brain
and sitting on top of my chest for a while now.
And of people in general. Nasty people, selfish people, disrespectful people, ungrateful people etc etc.

But lessons teaches us that, for every action that we make or take that brings no value or doesn’t solve any problems, is really a waste of time.

So i’m really jus wastin my time in this chair.

But so what, not everything is logical.

As I listened to my brothers talk about their national service lives tonight
I wonder what I missed out on, not being fit for combat duty
and I swear I’ve been a war junkie all my life

I can sit and I can watch and I can wonder
but if I don’t get off my ass and handle the current situation like a true mature sensible adult
then my journey slows down to a halt
Though I have to admit
I need to stop focusing on just where I want to be
but also how I want to get there

There are so many situations where you can’t jus turn and walk away
when you hit a dead end
Being cheerful and optimistic don’t solve every problem
but I guess it helps when you need to think of your next exit plan
and if you don’t try, you would never know

10 years on, I feel like I’m 14 again
this would sound great, until you know what it was like to be 14 for me -
lost, confused and full of angst.
Yes, it’s scary
But what do you do?
Jessica taught me 2 very important lessons:
1. to suck it up
2. to deal with it
I’m as far as where I am today because I never forgot those painful lessons
and now, more than ever, I need to keep these 2 phrases in mind

nobody said it was easy,
no one ever said it would be so hard

pls bear with my complaining and whining for now
I vow to step out this stronger than ever